


Hitomi's Confession

by shadowkitten



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27587884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkitten/pseuds/shadowkitten
Summary: This is an alternate version of Hitomi's talk with Sayaka in episode 7.(Repost from Fanfiction net.  See notes for details)
Relationships: Miki Sayaka/Shizuki Hitomi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Hitomi's Confession

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on fanfiction net 2 April, 2011.  
> Slight editing (Jesus I must have used up the entire world's supply of ellipses!) to at least partly bring it up to my current standards.  
> Originally intended to be part of my one-shot collection Shadow Record, but I am now reconsidering the concept. For now, i will post longer (1,000+) one-shots separately and shorter works as chapters there.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about, Hitomi?”

“To be honest, I've been keeping a secret from you.”

“A secret?”

“Yes. For some time, I have admired ....”

Sayaka took a deep breath. She had an uncomfortable feeling that she knew what Hitomi would say.

“You. I've admired you.”

Sayaka tilted her head.

“Ehhh?”

Hitomi blushed, and looked down.

“You what?”

“I don't know when it ... when I realized it. We've been friends for a very long time. I just think that I ....”

“But Hitomi? You ... I don't understand. You're telling me that you are my friend?”

“No, Sayaka. I am telling you that I really like you a very great deal. _Not_ just as a friend.”

Her blush deepened. Sayaka sat for a moment, confused. Then the realization of what she was being told hit her, and she blushed as well.

“I've always felt _jealous_ of you and Madoka. You two tease one another. Play around. It's so cute to see. But, I wish it were me.”

“I always thought you didn't like that kind of thing.”

Hitomi shrugged.

“I'm not sure what to say,” Sayaka muttered.

Hitomi glanced up briefly.

“I saw today how you were looking at Kamijou-kun. I am fairly certain you like him. So. I'm telling you this because," She shrugged again, and reached out a hand, tentatively placing it on Sayaka's. "I don't know, Sayaka. I just felt that I needed for you to know before you said anything. To him.”

The blue-haired girl took a deep breath, still somewhat shocked, and allowed Hitomi's hand to slide into hers. The two glanced up, their eyes meeting briefly. Their blushes deepened, and they both averted their gazes. Their hands remained together.

“This is ... the timing is terrible. I can't return your love.”

“Is it because of Kamijou-kun?”

“No, it's more complicated than that. Can we ... is there anywhere more private we can _talk_?”

“I can take you home. I have some time tonight. We can talk in my room.”

Sayaka nodded.

Hitomi's room was spacious, dominated by a large bed, an expensive computer, and a collection of stuffed animals and dolls and toys that made Madoka's look tiny. Sayaka realized that she had never seen Hitomi's room before, despite the length of their friendship.

Hitomi closed the door, and sat on the floor, motioning for Sayaka to do the same. She did so, though her face flushed.

"Now,” Hitomi said very seriously, “talk to me. Please, Sayaka. I've told you something that I never thought I'd be brave enough to tell anyone. Let alone _confess_ to you directly.”

Sayaka nodded. She took in a deep breath.

“I am no longer human because I traded my soul for a wish to make Kamijo-kun healthy again and to let him play the violin again and I am now a rock because of that and have to fight Witches to save people and get grief seeds until I die and when I die my body will be lost in a Witch's barrier and no one will ever know what happened to me.”

Sayaka gasped for breath after rather long-winded explanation.

Hitomi blinked. “What?”

Sayaka closed her eyes.

“It's true. I know it sounds _bizarre,_ but I can prove it.”

Hitomi just looked down at her legs.

Sayaka sighed, and held her left hand out, palm up. Hitomi glanced over, not sure what to expect. She gasped in surprise as Sayaka's blue egg-shaped soul gem formed.

“This is me, Hitomi. What you think of as Sayaka is now just a zombie. A meat-puppet that I use to travel around and fight witches.”

“Sayaka. I don't really understand what you're telling me. This jewel, I can't explain logically. I don't understand it and. I guess, well, I don't know Sayaka.”

“It doesn't matter. If you believe me, then you understand that you can't love me. I'm a _rock_ and doomed to be destroyed eventually by a Witch stronger than me. If you don't believe me, then you're pretty sure I'm crazy, possibly dangerous.”

Hitomi blushed, and looked back down at her legs. “I don't know Sayaka. No. No, that isn't true. I _do_ know. I know that I love you. I don't care if you're crazy, or a witch, or whatever.”

Hitomi looked up, her brilliant green eyes meeting Sayaka's pain-clouded blue eyes. Hitomi hesitated a moment, then reached her hands out. Sayaka gasped in surprise flinching back. Hitomi didn't stop, gently taking Sayaka's left hand.

“Hitomi, I don't know what to say.”

“Just say that you can accept my love, even if you can't return it. Please? Please, Sayaka.”

Sayaka looked down at Hitomi's hands. She found it strangely comforting. Hitomi had every right to be terrified, whether or not she believed her story. Instead her hands cradled soul gem, her very essence. Her soul.

“I don't understand it. I guess that I can accept it.”

Hitomi released Sayaka's hand, and shifted her position, sitting now directly beside the blue-haired girl. Sayaka allowed her soul gem to return to its ring, shape, but her eyes remained fixed on her left hand. Hitomi placed an arm around Sayaka.

“You can stand to hug a corpse?”

“Sayaka,” Hitomi chided gently, “don't say something like that. I am hugging you. Sayaka. I already told you, I don't care if you are really a crystal egg, or an alien, or whatever. As long as you are really Sayaka. The Sayaka that I've known, and loved, for so long. And I think that you are.”

Sayaka shrugged. Hitomi placed a hand under Sayaka's chin, and gently turned her face. Sayaka reluctantly allowed her eyes to meet Hitomi's once more. Hitomi smiled.

“Sayaka. I can still see your soul, through those beautiful blue eyes of yours. However much pain there is within them. Really. I don't know how or why you think that you are somehow less of a person now.”

“You don't understand, Hitomi.”

“No. No, I do not. I don't think that I ever will, fully. I don't care, though. I love you, and I think that you are still the wonderful Sayaka that I've known, that I've fallen in love with.”

Sayaka's eyes brightened just a little bit. The faintest hint of a smile crossed her lips, which made Hitomi positively beam with joy.

“Thank you,” Sayaka whispered, “thank you.”

Hitomi simply leaned in close. Sayaka could feel her breath on her face, could feel warmth rise in her body, and blood rush to her cheeks. Was this ... was she ....

Hitomi's lips softly, tentatively, grazed Sayaka's. It was a simple, awkward, gesture, soft and quick, and when Hitomi pulled back her face was deep red with embarrassment. She hesitated a moment, and looked down.

“Sorry,” she stuttered.

Sayaka felt her own face redden, but she kept her gaze level. Hitomi's lips had been soft, slightly salty, with the very faintest hint of waxy lip gloss. It had been a kiss. Sayaka hadn't returned it, but it had been a kiss. A real kiss. Her first.

“That was too much. Right?”

Hitomi looked back up, her green eyes now blurred with tears. Sayaka met those eyes with blue eyes that had managed to regain at least a little of their shine. Sayaka smiled.

“No. No, Hitomi. It wasn't too much. I was just was surprised is all.”

“Sayaka. I love you. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, or next week, or next month, but I do know that I want you to accept that love, to accept me, as I am. Like I accept you, as you are. Whatever that means.”

“I do accept that, Hitomi. I don't know what I feel, honestly. If I can feel anything at all. I don't know if I will be alive in a week. But I think maybe, just maybe, if you mean what you say ... I think I might have a reason to at least try to live.”

Hitomi laughed softly, a laugh that was partly choked by tears of heavy, conflicting emotions. Both girls found themselves smiling with tears streaming down their cheeks, and embraced one another tightly. Holding each other. Just holding each other.

“Sayaka,” Hitomi whispered into her ear, “thank you. Thank you for _being_.”

**Author's Note:**

> It probably still has too many ellipses, but I'm overall pleased enough. For a story that's more than 9 years old at least.


End file.
